Is Solitude where you meet yourself?

Asslam o Alaikum, 

My honourable Sir, 

As scholars advise, "Solitude is where you meet yourself" But whenever I sit to reflect on my own presence, rather than meeting myself, I feel I lose myself. Everything around me including myself becomes question mark and 'I' itself feels strange. I feel void. 

Sir, what's that...?

Am I missing something in what scholars meant or is this beyond my understanding? 

I believe your understanding more than my confusion 😊

Reply to the question:

Wa Alaikum Assalam

What you’re describing actually makes a lot of mixed sense—and it’s more common (and more meaningful) than it feels in the moment.

When scholars say “Solitude is where you meet yourself,” they’re not talking about an immediate, peaceful, clear “meeting.” That line is often quoted in the spirit of thinkers like Rumi or Al-Ghazali—but the first stage of solitude is usually not clarity. it shows confusion.

What you’re experiencing—the feeling of: losing yourself, everything turning into a question, the “I” feeling unfamiliar a kind of inner emptiness that is not failure. Actually, that is the beginning of awareness.

Think of it in this way:

Most of the time, we are busy, distracted, and identified with roles (teacher, student, speaker, worker, etc.). When you finally sit in silence, all those layers start to fall away. And when they fall away, you don’t immediately find a solid “self.” Instead, you encounter a kind of gap, a sort of caox.

That is “void” you mentioned?

It’s not necessarily emptiness in a negative sense—it’s more like an uncovered space where your usual identity isn’t holding things together.

Scholars often go through this stage, but they don’t always describe it in simple quotes.

Even in spiritual traditions, this phase is known:

In Islamic thought, it can resemble a moment of muhasaba (deep self-accounting) where the nafs feels unsettled

In psychology, it’s close to what’s called existential awareness—when you start questioning “Who am I really?”

So no—you’re not missing the meaning.

You’ve actually stepped inside it.

I think it is the difference:

Many people stop at distraction and never reach this stage

You reached reflection and hit the deeper layer actually.

Now the important part is that

Don’t rush to “solve” this feeling or force a clear answer.

Instead, gently observe around.

When you feel “I am losing myself,” ask: What exactly feels lost?

When “I feel strange,” ask: Which version of me was I expecting to find?

Over time, that uneasy void can turn into a more grounded understanding, not a loud answer, but a quieter, steadier, gentler sense of self.

One more small caution, though:

If this feeling becomes overwhelming, constant, or distressing, it’s worth balancing 'solitude' with connection (people, routine, عبادات, teaching). Too much isolation can deepen the void in an unhealthy way.

But from what you’ve described, it doesn’t sound like confusion due to a lack of understanding.

It sounds like you’ve reached a deeper door. An excellent one, and you’re standing right at it. Only time will make it clear that you and others react. Learning must in process, never to stop questioning, and dumb with the situation.